The French Journey

This French blague is awful, but fortunately even the worst joke can help you to remember a word or two.

- Chef, chef ! Il y a eu un vol cette nuit au supermarché ! On a volé 2000 cartouches de cigarettes et 1500 laitues !
- Bien, et vous avez des soupçons ?
- Ben ouais, on recherche un lapin qui tousse ! Continue Reading

En grande distribution, qu’est devenu le budget consacré aux sacs plastique autrefois donnés gratuitement ?

Source: Anonyme Courageux (with kind permission) Continue Reading

The French trailer, a bande annonce, for Ice Age 3 is pretty funny and brilliantly dubbed in French and English. This gives us the opportunity to use it to learn French and have a smile or two along the way.

I provide the English for the version française, as a more literal translation, the English version of the trailer, en V.O. (version originale), will include the original dialogue for comparison.

The idea again being just to hear French in context, copy the accent of this very standard French and learn some new expressions. I’ve made some useful common expressions bold.

L’évenement le plus énorme, depuis 2 millions d’années, va faire basculer le monde, dans une nouvelle dimension.
The biggest event in 2 million years will shake the world into another dimension.

Que personne ne bouge un poil.
Nobody move a hair.

Bientôt.
Soon.

Nous vivions au dessus d’un autre monde et nous ne savions pas.
We were living above another world and we didn’t know it.

Je me sens – tout petit.
I feel – so small.

Je suis trop jeune… pour… être mangé.
I’m too young… to… be eaten.

Aïe!
Ouch!

Je suis toujours aussi beau gosse.
I’m still as good looking as ever.

- Toi, tu rentres au village
- Parle à ma tronc!
- You’re going back to the village
- Talk to the trunk!

Pour la preimère fois à l’écran, Scrattina.
For the first time on the screen, Scrattina.

C’est la commencement d’un nouvelle ére.
It’s the dawning of a new era.

Tremblement de terre!
Earthquake!

C’est quand même mieux que rien.
It’s still better than nothing.

Sautez!
Jump!

Vous avez peut-être faim, je sais exactement ce qu’il vous faut.
Perhaps you’re hungry, I know exactly what you need.

Je croyais que t’étais une femelle!
I thought you were a female!

As promised, here’s the English, VO, version:

While viewing the video of French comedians Thomas and Jamel, listen out for the sentences I’ve written out below. This is full speed, comedy French, so only an advanced speaker would understand everything BUT that is not the goal here. The aim is to familiarise you with some great everyday French, how it sounds, when it’s said and how to say it.

TIP
Try to copy how the comedians talk, use the text below to put some words to their sounds and really try to mimic how they talk. Just copy them and see if anything sticks. It normally does. Don’t worry about remembering everything – you’ll pick up the important words as time goes on. Take your time and use the pause button.

What’s it all about?
Jamel is a famous (in France) French comedian who has started a comedy club, which includes the performer. Jamel is the seated man, Thomas is standing and performing. They exchange comedy insults and then promote Jamel’s new DVD. (Which I have nothing to do with – cela/ça ne me concerne pas!)

Pour ceux qui n’ont pas encore compris ce que c’est le Jamel Comedy Club, c’est un arabe qui fait bosser un noir pour faire rire des blancs. C’est l’intégration. Comme quoi ca avait un role vraiment positif, les colonies.
For those who haven’t yet understand what the Jamel Comedy Club is, it’s an arab making a black guy work to make white guys laugh. That’s integration for you. What a positive role the colonies had.

Je t’adore, toi.
I love you/think you’re great.

Je sais que tu m’adores.
I know you do.

Même si tu n’es pas le plus drôle de la bande.
Even if you’re not the funniest of the group.

Je vois, je vois, tu commences le clash, c’est ca?
I see, I see, you’re starting the clash/battle then, is that it?

Tu ne me respectes pas, en gros, c’est ca?
You don’t respect me, basically, is that it?

Je souviendrai toute ma vie de ses débuts, je lui découvrait en KFC et il jouait pour les chicken wings à l’époque.
I’ll always remember when he was starting out, I discovered him in KFC and he was performing for chicken wings at the time.

D’autant plus, t’es le seul carambar géant que je connaisse.
What’s more, you’re the only giant carambar I know.
(Carambar the sweet, which is brown, a cheap reference to Thomas’ skin colour – racial issues are sometimes dealt with in a more open manner in French).

Je te kiffe.
I dig you. (Slang)

Comme par hasard, le top 5 d’aujourd’hui…
As if by chance, today’s top 5 happens to be about reasons to buy Jamel’s DVD.

Roule ma poule.
Hit it, man. (Literally: roll it, my chicken)

Poule is only used because it rhymes. You can say: ça roule? (are you well/is it rolling/going well) and the reply can be “ça roule ma poule” (slang).
Likewise:
“Ci-mer Homer” means thanks, in backslang with a rhyme.
“Fonce Alphonse” means get out of here (Foncer – to leave quickly)
etc.

5. …fera plaisir au Melissa Theriau – A famous French newsreader, famed mainly for her appearance. Plenty of examples are available on youtube
4. Profits will be given to… us.
3. Not one gag by Laurent Gerra (must be a “bad” comedian)
2. In the hidden bonus’ is the 4th season of prison break.
1. If you don’t do it we’ll all be kicked out.